I think falconry is cool. Really, really cool. Little creepy... still cool.In fact, I would like a pet falcon for Christmas. I will name him Arcteropyx, or, if he doesn't like that, Alfred. Alfred the Falcon. Alfie for short.
I would treat Alfie very well. I would take him for walks, or flies, often. He would have a companion, and I would have a steady supply of squirrels, possums, and smaller falcons that Alfie did not like. I would take him many places, but I would avoid certain locations for obvious reasons.
Alfie the Falcon
Wings arched strong and majestic
Put Howard down now
I feel that, as the owner of a falcon, I would better understand great figures like Genghis Khan and Napoleon, who also owned falcons, and were crazy as shit.
"Hey Genghis."
"Greetings."
"How is Artok the Destroyer?"
"Well. Yesterday he caught a small antelope."
"Sounds tasty."
"Yes, better than child-from-neighboring-village."
"..."
"Old habits are hard to break, friend."
"Yes, they are."
With Alfie, I would instantly be That Guy That Owns a Falcon. People would also assume I play Dungeons and Dragons, and wear a cloak. But this would not be true. I would just own a falcon, a small raptor designed by God to soar, kill, and look wicked in my garage.
This I swear: A falcon will be had by me.
1 comment:
Who needs a garage? Alfie can live on our balcony and hunt all day while I'm in class and you're sleeping. The New Haven squirrel, having no natural enemies, would keep him happy and well-fed. And no one will have to worry about people feeding the squirrels peanuts and sending the kids in daycare into anaphylactic shock.
-d
PS - I'm assuming Aflie will be a boy-falcon. Something about the idea of a girl-falcon sounds way less awesome. Like having a pink broad-sword or something.
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